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We can make mistakes at any age.Some mistakes we make are about money.But most mistakes?are about people."Did Jerry really care when I broke up with Helen?When I got that great job,did Jim really feel good about it,as a friend?Or did he envy my luck?"When we look back,doubts?like these can make us feel bad.But when we look back,it′s too late.

Why do we go wrong about our friends or our enemies?Sometimes what people say hides their?real meaning.And if we don′t really listen closely we miss the feeling behind the words.Suppose?someone tells you,"You′re a lucky dog."That′s being friendly.But"lucky dog"?There′s a bit?of envy in those words.Maybe he doesn′t see it himself.But bringing in the"dog"puts you down a?little.What he may be saying is that he doesn′t think you deserve your luck.

"Just think of all the things you have to be thankful for"is another noise that says one thing and?means another.It could mean that the speaker is trying to get you to see your problem as part of your life as a whole.But is be?Wrapped up in this phrase is the thought that your problem isn′t important.It′s telling you to think of all the starving people in the world when you haven′t got a date for Saturday night.How can you tell the real meaning behind someone′s words?One way is to take a good look at?the person talking.Do his words fit the way he looks?Does what he says agree with the tone of?voice?His posture?The look in his eyes?Stop and think.The minute you spend thinking about the?real meaning of what people say to you may save another mistake.

In the sentence"Maybe he doesn′t see it himself"in paragraph 2,the pronoun"it"refers?to